Ataraxia Opposed

Wandering Whole Foods this weekend I was perusing the produce area for healthy snacks at work, specifically fruit.  I saw the cantaloupe.   I like cantaloupe and these are already cut in half and prepared. I bought two halves and was happy. Eating one at home with only a spoon and with great ease strengthened my resolve. I took the other to work and tried to have there.  At home the cantaloupe was dispatched mindlessly. My stainless steel spoon easily sliced and scooped in one motion with only occasional  glancing. The experience was done with quickly, almost too quickly.

This was not the experience had at my desk. The plastic spoon lodged into the fruit and threatened to break.  Attempting to use more lateral forces failed as well. A plastic knife had to be employed to  get at any of the meat and it was messy.  I had to use a combination of the knife, the spoon and my fingers. It took quite some time to finish.  I almost bailed cantaloupe juice all over my desk several times. So while plastic utensils with cantaloupe is not a FAIL, I would not recommend it. No more cantaloupe at work, unless I decide to bring in a metal spoon.

UPDATE: Cantaloupe half and I did battle again at home. But this time I brought a metal spoon - and I made sure the spoon was small so it took longer....

I've taken to making bacon by the package in the oven of late. It is easier to make, the bacon almost always cooks evenly and is much easier to clean up. Whatever we don't eat immediately gets bagged and tagged in the freezer. However, taking it out of the oven is not for the faint of heart. a pound of bacon makes 1/3 - 2/3 cup of pure rendered lard. One can't escape the thought "This has been deep frying in all that fat"!
So I thought I would try a healthier method. I layered the bacon on a grid cooling rack that fit in a half sheet pan. "Ha," I thought, "The bacon will be suspended from all that grease below!" I'm pretty sure an evil cackle resonated immediately after. It normally takes 10-12 min to make. After 20 there was still no real progress and the ends were charring. So back into the grease they went, bubbly with happiness as they settled in. Four minutes later they were done - deep fried in their own fat, golden, crispy, and ambrosia.
As I drained off pan and dabbed the bacon I thought about how bacon is made on the stove. You are not supposed to drain the fat off until you are done. The chefs call it "lubrication" probably because most cannot bring themselves to face the fact: proper bacon must basically be deep fried.
If this story has ruined your bacon eating, I suggest you come to grips with it. Eat a salad later to make up for it or have the bacon on a salad instead of a cheeseburger. If this story made you a feel a little wiser and hungry, keep in mind that bacon fat is supposed to make wonderful biscuits. :-9